▶

Choose a video to start learning Choose a video from the full Library to start learning.

Time English Language 2 Action

00:13

The human voice:

00:16

It's the instrument we all play.

00:18

It's the most powerful sound in the world, probably.

00:21

It's the only one that can start a war or say "I love you."

00:23

And yet many people have the experience

00:25

that when they speak, people don't listen to them.

00:28

And why is that?

00:29

How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?

00:33

What I'd like to suggest,

00:34

there are a number of habits that we need to move away from.

00:37

I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking.

00:41

I'm not pretending this is an exhaustive list,

00:43

but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.

00:49

First, gossip.

00:51

Speaking ill of somebody who's not present.

00:54

Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well

00:56

the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.

01:01

Second, judging.

01:03

We know people who are like this in conversation,

01:05

and it's very hard to listen to somebody

01:07

if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.

01:12

Third, negativity.

01:14

You can fall into this.

01:15

My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative,

01:18

and it's hard to listen.

01:20

I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today,"

01:22

and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?"

01:25

(Laughter)

01:27

It's hard to listen when somebody's that negative.

01:29

(Laughter)

01:30

And another form of negativity, complaining.

01:33

Well, this is the national art of the U.K.

01:37

It's our national sport.

01:38

We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything,

01:42

but actually, complaining is viral misery.

01:44

It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.

01:48

Excuses.

01:50

We've all met this guy.

01:51

Maybe we've all been this guy.

01:52

Some people have a blamethrower.

01:55

They just pass it on to everybody else

01:57

and don't take responsibility for their actions,

02:00

and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.

02:02

Penultimate, the sixth of the seven,

02:04

embroidery, exaggeration.

02:08

It demeans our language, actually, sometimes.

02:10

For example, if I see something that really is awesome,

02:13

what do I call it?

02:15

(Laughter)

02:17

And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying,

02:21

and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

02:24

And finally, dogmatism.

02:27

The confusion of facts with opinions.

02:31

When those two things get conflated,

02:33

you're listening into the wind.

02:34

You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true.

02:38

It's difficult to listen to that.

02:40

So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking.

02:43

These are things I think we need to avoid.

02:46

But is there a positive way to think about this?

02:48

Yes, there is.

02:50

I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations,

02:55

that we can stand on if we want our speech

02:58

to be powerful and to make change in the world.

03:02

Fortunately, these things spell a word.

03:04

The word is "hail," and it has a great definition as well.

03:07

I'm not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky

03:10

and hits you on the head.

03:11

I'm talking about this definition,

03:13

to greet or acclaim enthusiastically,

03:15

which is how I think our words will be received

03:17

if we stand on these four things.

03:18

So what do they stand for?

03:20

See if you can guess.

03:22

The H, honesty, of course,

03:25

being true in what you say, being straight and clear.

03:28

The A is authenticity, just being yourself.

03:32

A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth,

03:35

which I think is a lovely way to put it.

03:37

The I is integrity, being your word,

03:40

actually doing what you say,

03:41

and being somebody people can trust.

03:44

And the L is love.

03:47

I don't mean romantic love,

03:49

but I do mean wishing people well, for two reasons.

03:52

First of all, I think absolute honesty may not be what we want.

03:56

I mean, my goodness, you look ugly this morning.

03:58

Perhaps that's not necessary.

04:02

Tempered with love, of course, honesty is a great thing.

04:05

But also, if you're really wishing somebody well,

04:08

it's very hard to judge them at the same time.

04:11

I'm not even sure you can do those two things simultaneously.

04:15

So hail.

04:16

Also, now that's what you say,

04:18

and it's like the old song, it is what you say,

04:20

it's also the way that you say it.

04:22

You have an amazing toolbox.

04:24

This instrument is incredible,

04:26

and yet this is a toolbox that very few people have ever opened.

04:29

I'd like to have a little rummage in there with you now

04:32

and just pull a few tools out

04:33

that you might like to take away and play with,

04:36

which will increase the power of your speaking.

04:38

04:39

Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most of the time,

04:44

but there's a register in between.

04:46

I'm not going to get very technical about this

04:48

for any of you who are voice coaches.

04:50

You can locate your voice, however.

04:51

So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the difference.

04:54

If I go down here in my throat,

04:56

which is where most of us speak from most of the time.

04:58

But if you want weight,

05:00

you need to go down here to the chest.

05:03

You hear the difference?

05:04

We vote for politicians with lower voices, it's true,

05:08

because we associate depth with power

05:11

and with authority.

05:14

That's register.

05:16

Then we have timbre.

Bilingual YouTube Learning

Recently Watched

You May Also Like