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Transcript excerpt · English
Transcriber: Yechezkel Stelzer Reviewer: Jeong-Lan Kinser
I stopped watching porn for two reasons basically.
The first one was that
porn brought so much anger and violence into my private fantasies.
And these were anger and violence that were not there originally to begin with.
And I did not want it for me anymore.
This was not me and, I decided to just put an end to it.
Easier said than done... I got it later, but...
The second reason was that I became to realize...
I came to realize that only by watching porn
I take part in creating a demand for filmed prostitution
because that's what porn really is: filmed prostitution.
"Pornē" stands for prostitute, "graphia" stands for documentation.
Prostitution was nobody's childhood dream,
it is always a result of trouble and distress.
Now, I became aware of that gradually, when I was volunteering
with men and women in prostitution, some of them victims of human traffic,
serving aid in brothels, under the bridge and street corners.
But you don't really need to do all that in order to understand
how this mechanism of porn and prostitution works.
Because porn is a genre - it's not about erotica or healthy sexual communication.
It's all about male domination of women, subordinance of women.
Not only the sexual practice, but as a way of being,
as a genderial hierarchy in this world.
If we would ask porn,
how does it define something as sexual?
What qualifies, what defines something as sexual?
Porn would laugh in our face.
What defines sexual? Whatever men find arousing...
Men find it arousing to choke a woman?
To have a brutal sex without one touch, hug, kiss, tender caress?
Well then it is sexual.
It arouses men to see a woman or child cry?
It is sexual.
It arouses men to rape a woman, well, then it is sexual.
In every mainstream porn gallery on the web,
we can find the rape category side by side with the humiliation category,
abuse category, crime category and so on.
And this is all as if this regular porn is not already filled with these motives.
Even in its mildest version, the mildest version of porn,
what porn is showing us like, I know, 80%, maybe 90% of the time
is actually sex with no hands involved. This is not how we authentically desire...
Sorry, I'll repeat that, I see your look. Sex with no hands involved... okay.
If you and I are not going to give up watching porn
the next thing you do watch just you just notice that
porn cameras have no interest in capturing
any normal sensual activities such as petting, caressing,
making out, touching, hugging, kissing... No...
What porn cameras are into is the penetration.
So normally the composition will be a man and a woman,
hopefully just one, okay... so, one man and one woman...
His penis is inside her.
It doesn't matter where inside. Somewhere inside.
His penis is somewhere inside her, okay?
And in order not to block the camera
for doing this extreme close up on the penetration,
he's standing with his hands behind his back most of the time.
And the woman is in this... uncomfortable position
and she needs to handle the penis inside her
without damaging the hair or make up or look down on her
because that's money invested and time invested in her.
Without disturbing his aggressive movement and mainly without blocking the cameras.
So the result is that we got two people having sex
different shapes and acrobatics or something... but they're having sex
when the only body parts that actually touch each other
are the penis and the part being penetrated.
No hands involved.
I talked, I don't know, 250-300 times a year, soldiers, students, pupils...
No one has ever come up to me and say
"Ran, you know that part with sex with no hands thing
that was my authentic desire, like when I was 11 or 12
I never wanted to kiss or touch anybody.
I was not curious about that. It was all the penetration to begin with."
No one has ever said that... -- before porn.
After porn...
In my private fantasies before watching porn,
there was always a very strong narrative
and the narrative was of sensuality and mutuality.
Which means that I always imagined what I would say to her?
What would she possibly answer?
What options do I have to respond?
In real life it never worked like I planned,
but it was important in my mind in term of arousal
the build up, the location, the setting, where will it be?
What are the circumstances of me and her being all alone all of a sudden.
How will this bodily inflaming between us will emerge step by step?
It was super important ...before porn.
After making a habit out of porn...
it conquers your mind and it invades your brain.
And I lost my ability to imagine.
Which mean I found myself... and I won't be too explicit,
but trying to masturbate, just closing my eyes
trying to fantasize desperately about something human
and not making it because my head was bombarded
with all of those images of women being violated and subordinated
and forced into pretending they enjoyed diabolic sperm rituals.
So, this is pretty much the result.
We are all vulnerable to pornography. It's not just young people...
We should be very careful.
Not only what we put into our bodies in term of food and nutrition...
But with the nutrition of our mind.
Everything we watch invades us.
I'll give you a short example from non-sexual areas.
I came the other night, I came back home
and my beloved one was watching some cultural junk.
She was watching a karaoke show audition, the one with chairs spinning.
We don't have a TV set back home,
but only because it allows us to falsely present ourselves
as deep and profound people. (laughter)
I've never heard of that.
Mastectomy who? Angelina? No, we don't have a TV.
We watch every cultural junk possible, okay?
Neither me, nor her, contemplate about existence.
We download stuff. And we download all cultural junk.
I am watching this 20 minutes karaoke show.
And it was so boring and tedious.
Two minutes talking, four minutes blabbering.
I lost patience after 20 minutes and I went off to take a shower
and the most interesting part was in the shower.
Because what I found out there was myself in most pathetic state ever...